Hug Yourself (Please!)


Why? Because living in these times call for it.

Today as a circled and shared with mothers in my Soulful Mama Circle at my office and teaching space ( I found myself reminiscing over all the circles and support groups I have attended or hosted over the last 26 years. I realized that the theme of each and every one of these groups has been focused on the STRESS that new parents are dealing with. Twenty-six years of listening to parents talk about how stressful life with child or children is, twenty-six years of listening to parents talk about sleep deprivation, money challenges, worries of if they are doing everything “right”. Not to mention 26 years of listening to mothers talk about healing from childbirth, pain in their bodies and little time or space for self care or a break!

What struck me today, from my observation, we are MORE stressed as the years have gone on, then LESS stressed. Twenty-six years ago, we did not have social media...we were more isolated from each other then yet with social media we are seemingly more “connected” but to what end? Social media brings its on stresses and pressures, with many of my mom participants admitting that taking breaks from social media is essential in improving their mood and outlook on life.

So where is the happy medium? Where is the elusive BALANCE that we all seek? When stress threatens to take over and DRIVE our lives, where do we turn for support? What button can we push to ease the panic, anxiety, depression and overwhelm?

Things I have learned for myself that ease the pain...Number One-be ok with lowering expectations, of yourself and what you are capable of accomplishing in one day and from others. Be ok if your child spends time watching TV, if that helps you get a break. Accept that every meal you eat of feed your family might not be fully organic or even 100% healthy, and it might just get heated up in the microwave as opposed to hours of old-fashioned home-style cooking.

No you probably won’t be able to volunteer for every event at your child’s school, or always get your kid to school on time or even picked up on time. And that's ok, try your best and leave the guilt in the garbage pail. Connect with your loved ones. Take a moment from rushing and achieving to just look into your loved ones eyes, connect, share a kiss, a hug, a breath, a moment in time. These small things can last forever in our mind’s eye. These acts raise our oxytocin levels, and are the things that make us experience what it is to be fully human, in all its glory! While you are at it, sing a song! Put on your favorite piece of music and DANCE to it! Go to bed EARLY! Or make a choice to stay up late, even though you’ll be tired the next day, just because you want the time to yourself while the babies or other family members are asleep. Call a friend and VENT! Return the favor and let them do the same. Do a Take a long hot bath. Put some feel good/smell good oils in a diffuser and choose to breathe deeply!

Do least ONE NICE THING for yourself EVERYDAY! And remember to HUG YOURSELF, because you are out here being a BADASS everyday in a world that doesn’t make it easy for you to shine. I see you! I honor you! We are in this world together and we will lift each other up as we journey on.

What are some nice things do you do for yourself everyday? Leave some thoughts in the comments section.

Wishing you the best day ever,

Kim & Allegra